Self-states & dissociation
You are under no obligation to remain the same person you were a year ago, a month ago, or even a day ago. You are here to create yourself, continuously.
—Richard Feynman
We all have different parts of ourselves—modes, roles, or “selves” that show up in different situations. You might notice a confident part at work, a tender part in close relationships, or a protective part when you feel under threat. These are self-states, and having them is completely normal.
For those who’ve experienced trauma—especially early or ongoing trauma—different self-states can become more distinct or disconnected. One part might manage daily life, while another holds fear, pain, or shame. These parts often develop as protective responses to overwhelming experiences, allowing us to function by keeping difficult material at a distance.
Over time, this separation can create confusion or a sense of being out of sync with yourself—or like certain reactions come from somewhere unfamiliar. This can be a form of dissociation, and it exists on a continuum.
In this short video, clinical psychologist Dr Tori Olds explains how therapy can help us relate to our internal parts with more compassion. Drawing lightly on Schema Therapy and Internal Family Systems (IFS), she shows how these self-states aren’t flaws, but adaptive responses—each with a reason for being. It’s a clear and hopeful introduction to how parts work unfolds in therapy.
If you’re recognising stronger or more disruptive experiences of dissociation in yourself—like losing time, feeling taken over by different parts, or finding it hard to stay connected to the present—you’re not alone. These can be signs of more severe forms of dissociation. While they were adaptive responses to overwhelming experience, they can now feel confusing, distressing, and/or not quite real.
There are excellent, compassionate resources available for understanding this more fully:
ISSTD (International Society for the Study of Trauma and Dissociation) – A leading organisation offering resources and education on complex trauma and dissociation.
Blue Knot Foundation (Australia) – Trauma-informed resources and support for people who have experienced complex childhood trauma dissociation.
Many Voices Press – A survivor-run resource platform for people living with dissociative conditions.
Podcast: System Speak – Personal, clinical, and research perspectives on DID and complex trauma, from a lived-experience lens.
These resources aren’t meant to overwhelm, but to offer pathways to clarity, recognition, and support—especially if some of your experiences have felt hard to name until now.
